Winner, winner, chicken dinner!

This weekend my parents came to town and we were feeling crazy and didn't want to go to the beach. So instead, we opted for going to a Greyhound dog racing track.

I know what your thinking, "Oh no! How could you watch such a horrible thing! Those poor dogs!" But, there were no dogs there, only racing being simulcast from other places. However, some urban gentlemen were fighting some pitbulls in the parking lot to keep everyone entertained.

There were times when I felt like I was at Chucky Cheese. There were so many children there. It's weird seeing people drink beer, watching dog races on TV, screaming profanities when they won/lost....all while there are babies crying and children getting spanked for running down the stairs.

My brother, Aaron, and I ate this whole experience up. I tried to take a lot of pictures but Aaron is a photographer that doesn't quite understand the concept of "Ready, 1,2,3!" But when we weren't trying to take pictures of crazy looking people or of me riding a statue of a greyhound like it was a bull, we gambled!

This was my first real experience gambling, if you considering watching dog racing on TV gambling. But, I was horrible and I didn't win any money. But it turns out that racing involves a little bit of strategy, I, however, placed bets based on the dogs with cool names like LA's Reba & John McCanine.

____________________________________________________________________

CURRENTLY GIVING ME THE HEEBIE- JEEBIES...

MADONNA'S ARMS
Supposedly it's from working out too much? But why are her veins popping out so much??


JOHNNY DEPP PLAYING THE MAD HATTER
I've never really been afraid of clowns, but the crazy white makeup and red hair is really freakin' me out.

I posted this at work, feel free to judge me and my work ethic.

I feel like I spend a lot of time saying, "Oh, that is my guilty pleasure." But when I think about it, almost everything I do is somewhat embarrassing.

But, adding to the list of guilty pleasures is "More to Love" on FOX. I just couldn't watch the Bachlorette this season because Jillian was such an idiot. So, I've filled that sleazy hole inside me with the Bachlorette's D-list, huskier, little brother...More to Love.



My parents and brother are coming to visit me this weekend. I'm really excited about them coming to see me. I cleaned my apartment yesterday for them to come and stay, only to learn they are going to a hotel.
I cleaned for nothing, I mean, those dirty dishes could have been left sitting in the sink for at least another week and a half!

Since early this morning I have what I am pretty sure is heartburn. I've never had heartburn so I'm kinda freaked out. I looked it up on WebMD to see if I really had heartburn and read this..."Is there something wrong with your digestive system? Or maybe you think it’s your heart."

Actually, I didn't think it was my heart. But now I don't know. If I die in my office it might be a while before anyone smells me from the hall I just changed the Glade Plug-in.

Why Karma is Real: I ignored a lady at Wal-Mart when she asked me for the time, this resulted in me stepping in vomit on the way to the parking lot.

I keep having a reoccurring thought. Months ago I visited the King Ranch, and during the tour they talked about how they burn acres of land at a time. In this process, they said that the land comes back more green and beautiful than ever.

I like to think about life being like that, God puts us through situations that make us feel abandoned, with nothing left, and unsure of the future. But in time, he makes everything more beautiful that it has ever been before.

googling to stalking...a slippery slope.

I just got the windows tinted in my car and I carelessly wrote off the detail of not being able to roll down my windows for a week.

But this inconvenience only made me realize how often I need to roll down my windows...for fast food.

I'm not obese, but I was mortified at the number of times I thought, "I can't go there...my windows." Embarrassing. This is why I need a magic bullet blender and a maid who knows how to make Whataburger Taquitos.

(I'm also realizing this is the second blog I've written about going through drive thru's. I'm disgusting.)

Creepy Things I've Done Over the Course of a Week: (in no particular order)

• Googled/Cyber Stalked a new person in my office

• Stopped to look at puppies on the side of the road by myself.

• Walked around a cemetery (for it's historic value) and almost did a grave stone rubbing but then remembered I didn't bring crayons.

• Sat in my bedroom floor peering out the window while my next door neighbors fought in the parking lot.

• The people who live behind me were getting their mail at the same time as me and they threw something away. Impulsively, I pulled it out when they left to see what it was. (This one might be illegal...)

It could be urine...

Living in the Apple Creek apartment complex, I am constantly thinking to myself "Don't step in that, it might be urine."

Because sometimes there is a smell and there are puddles on the sidewalks and stairs.

But yesterday, I have never been more sure that those puddles were urine when I found this gem sitting at my next door neighbors front door...


I will admit that I can share numerous stories of odd behavior from the people next door. But, I have always given them the benefit of the doubt. Mainly, because I hope they do the same for me.

Because sometimes, I feel as if I can hear them thinking, "If he lives alone, why is he carrying all that pizza?" or "There he goes, Blockbuster on a Friday night." or "He's carrying 4 trash bags of garbage, someones been living in squaller..."

But, now that I have spotted a 3 liter bottle filled with urine, I am officially concerned.

I've turned into one of those nosey, shrill, next door neighbors from every Nick at Nite sitcom. My eyes peering out the blinds when I hear a car pull up and my ears straining to interpret a combination of English/Spanish.

But I really need to research this urine filled bottle, is it a drug thing? Because if they are cooking drugs I can get sick! I saw it on Grey's Anatomy once!

if someone wrote the menu in sharpie, drive away.

So, while at the drive-thru today of a local fast food Mexican restaurant called Casa de Taco, I was struck with the question of, "What is a UFO?" At least I was pretty sure it said UFO, it was hard to tell since the O had been drawn in with a Sharpie. But as it turns out a "UFO" is a tostada with guacamole, and I HATE guacamole, so I was gravely disappointed.

My next thought was, "If only there had been a picture." But as we all know, the pictures never look the same as what you get.

This is pretty right?

This one looks like it might have been found in between the cushions of a booth.

Who doesn't love a Beef & Cheddar?

It looks like they reheated it in a Ziploc bag.

Just as a warning, I was extremely grossed out and offended by this Wendy's chicken sandwich.

There are so many things I would like to say about this...and bon appetit is not one of them.

happy friday.

I WATCH TOO MANY MOVIES.

Once again, I am stuck without transportation. Never assume that purchasing a new foreign made vehicle wont leave stuck at work when you have a day full of meetings.

Is this God's way of telling me I'm destined for a bike? In this humidity, I'm going to pray that's not the plan.

Is it sad that I have been watching all the Harry Potter movies so that I can see the new one? I have only seen 2 of the movies before, so I'm watching most of them for the first time.

During my HP marathon I learned that I would like Harry Potter, not Daniel Radcliffe, to play me in a bio-pic about my life.

Reason #1. We are both have extraordinarily pasty skin.
Reason #2. He has a scar that burns when evil comes around and I have a scar on my hand that turns red when I'm sweaty.
Reason #3. We both have a thing for Asians.
Reason #4. We are both athletes. Harry plays Quidditch and I enjoy watching tennis.

This comparison? One word, uncanny.